Embrace

Akap (Embrace)
Nagtatanong: bakit mahirap

Asking why its so hard

Sumabay sa agos ng iyong mundo

To swim with the waves of your world

Nagtataka; simple lang naman sana ang buhay

Wondering; life’s just so simple

Kung ika’y matino

If only you we’re good

Sabihin sa kin lahat ng lihim mo

Tell me all your secrets

Iingatan ko

I’ll keep them safe

Ibaling sa kin ang problema mo

Surrender to me your problems

Kakayanin ko

I’ll carry them all

Pikit mata kong iaalay ang buwan at araw

With closed eyes, I’ll offer you the sun and moon

Pati na sapatos kong suot

Even the shoes I’m wearing

Nagtatanong: simple lang naman sana ang buhay

Asking; life’s just so simple

Kung ika’y lumayo

If only you’ll stay away

Sabihin sa kin lahat ng lihim mo

Tell me all your secrets

Iingatan ko

I’ll keep them safe

Ibaling sa kin ang problema mo

Surrender to me all your problems

Kakayanin ko

I’ll carry them all

Sasamahan ka sa tamis

I’ll be with you in bliss

Sasamahan ka sa dilim

I’ll be with you in darkness

Sasamahan ka hanggang langit

I’ll be with you ’til heaven

Sasamahan ka sa tamis

I’ll be with you in bliss

Sasamahan ka sa pait

I’ll be with you in bitterness

Sasamahan ka sa dilim

I’ll be with you in darkness

Sasamahan ka hanggang langit

I’ll be with you ’til heaven

Sasamahan ka

I’ll be with you

My inspiration for this story is the song Entitled Akap (Filipino) or Embrace when translated to English, it’s an original song by a band in our country (Philippines) called Imago. I just realized one day that this song fits Hiruma and Mamori’s relationship, whatever kind it is.. kekeke. Those in Italics are the words from the original song while those in normal font are the lyrics translated to English. Hope you like it!

They’re just a few games away from the Christmas Bowl, a few breaths away from their first game in the Kantou tournament. Mamori was cleaning up after a whole day of practice, which as usual, was very grueling to everyone, especially Sena. Even she can feel the pressure unconsciously being put upon by the whole team to him. He is the “ace” player after all.

She knows she has to stop worrying. And besides, Sena is growing up really fast, and he has finally found something that he really likes; and friends too. She can’t keep from smiling while thinking about it. She was just finishing up and stowing away the stray equipments into the Devilbats HQ, when she noticed there was someone else there. He was the ghoul, that certain devilish creature who drives everyone until they break their bones with the promise to eat their souls if they do otherwise: Hiruma Youichi, second year, Captain and Quarterback of the Deimon Devilbats American Football Team.

As most times in that room, he was working on his laptop, probably making up some scheme against some poor soul he wants to be his slave. But Mamori suddenly stopped in her thoughts when she didn’t hear any tapping keys, and the usual “Hey, you damn manager” greeting. It was odd, even creepier than his usual gun-toting and firing behavior, because silence means a bigger scheme than usual.

She was waiting for another evil to be unleashed, but nothing came. Now it was curiosity that overcame her; “What is he up to now? Boy, this is new”, she thought. She slowly came up behind him, silently creeping, thinking like she’s in his shoes fantasizing that she’ll find him in one weak moment, just one that she can finally use against him. Alas, there was nothing. He was doing nothing. His laptop was turned on, softly glowing in that dark corner, illuminating a part of his face, which was not in his usual big devilish grin, but in a surprisingly peaceful slumber. He was sleeping — like a baby. She almost laughed out loud, almost giggled in that Suzunaish way, but she stopped when she noticed the lines of fatigue drawn on his face. And she remembered that he is as human as every person in the team. He, of course, gets tired even more so, after a whole day of firing those damn big guns of his. And he actually looked pretty cute asleep.

“Kekeke..” she almost heard him laughing at her gullibility, as if this is one of his traps. But it was not. He was just the tired and peaceful version of the Hiruma the devil they all know. She wonders why she feels good, this good. Maybe because finally she has proof that he’s not a superhuman devil god from the Netherworld after all. But the feeling is not like that, it was more of a sisterly feeling, akin to that she constantly feels for Sena, though quite different too. She can’t explain. And she doesn’t really want to understand.

She doesn’t want to wake him up because that may bring a barrage of gunfire in his wake. And she lacks a blanket to cover him, so she just sat there beside him, looking at his peaceful face, thinking how it would be like if he was a gentle person. Then she realized he wouldn’t be Hiruma if that will be the case. And she finally got used to him in his ways that he changing is as unthinkable as Mount Fuji collapsing in a gigantic heap.

“You’ve really beaten yourself down this time, Youichi..” she said softly.
Just think.. hmm.. if I’m not here, you’d have probably killed yourself and the kids practicing all day.. hane!?
And look at you, so tired.. practically sleeping in that throne of yours..

“Hmm.. what would you do without me huh?”

She didn’t know why she said that. And she can’t understand her need to understand him, this devil of a man. The way he treats everyone doesn’t draw to him any affection. Whoa! Affection: such a creepy word for him. But she cannot deny that by him being who he is, everyone in the team admires him, and has come to dream his dreams. And she is part of that team; their team, with Hiruma.

A creeping blush came over her. He just looks so — wonderful? All the sisterly feeling is gone now, giving way to something that she dare not admit, even contemplate.

What are you doing to me? Even when you’re sleeping, you’re still formidable, aren’t you? Youichi.

She decided she’ll just stay until he wakes up. Even she can’t stifle a yawn anymore. Afterwards, maybe she’ll force him to walk her home. He’s not the only one who can get what he wants. She smiled at the thought of him waking and seeing her there with him. Maybe she can use his methods on him this time.

Paghihintay

Hindi ko alam at maintindihan kung bakit lagi na lang ako ang naghihintay. Marahil isang dahilan na ay ayaw ko na ako ang nahuhuli.
Ayaw ko na pinaghihintay ang iba. Siguro masyado akong mabait o mahiyain, na hindi ko matiis na paghintayin ang iba. Pero minsan, nakakapagod
na din ang palaging maghintay. Minsan, o halos kadalasan na din, naghihintay lang ako sa wala. Pero nasanay na akong umasa at laging mabigo. Nakakainis. Nakakaasar. Hanggang kailan ba ako maghihintay? Hanggang kailan ako aasa? At kailan darating ang panahong ako naman ang hihintayin?

Siguro napakasaya noon; na makatagpo ako ng sinumang maghihintay din sa akin. Kahit sino na makakaintindi at aalis sa aking pagkabigo.
Isang taong hindi ko paghihintayin ng matagal. Isang taong alam kong kagaya ko ring umaasa at naghintay ng matagal. Isang taong hindi maghihinayang at hindi ko paghihinayangan.

Mahirap maghintay; malungkot. Lalo na kung wala kang kasamang naghihintay. Nakakawala ng pag-asa. Hanggang sa tumigil na ang iyong diwa sa pagpapahalaga. Hanggang sa ang paghihintay mo ay mawalan na lang ng kabuluhan para sa iyo. Hanggang sa hindi mo na mamalayang kay tagal mo na palang naghihintay. Hanggang sa umalis ka na sa iyong pagkakatayo at maglakad, hanggang maisip mong hindi mo na kailangang maghintay. Hanggang sa mapagod ka na at sumuko.

Masaya sanang maghintay nang may kasama ka, may kausap, may karamay. Pero bakit pa ako maghihintay kung wala namang kasiguruhan? O marahil ito talaga ang tunay na kahulugan ng paghihintay, ang paghihintay na may pag-asa. Kahit na walang katiyakan, kahit na walang maasahan, maghihintay at maghihintay ka pa rin. Kahit na parang walang kabuluhan, hindi ka mapapagod, hindi mangangamba na baka wala nang dumating. Mayroon man o wala, tuloy ka pa rin sa paghihintay.

You were mine

you were mine
i was yours
when you never knew
and the world’s as oblivious as it is

i had you
you had me
when i never asked
when you never said you wanted it too

you were mine
yesterday
and today
at a time no one cares, no one knows

i had you
for keeps
for always
now and until the end

you were mine
when i
never knew you
perhaps then i knew i will have you

you were mine
still mine
will be mine
even when it can never be true

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